What if I told you "Just move forward"..."Forgive & Forget" It time to move on! Its time to live your life! Does grief have a time table? Yes & No, grief never goes away is just softens and we are given a gift of remembering with less tears. That does not mean it is the same for everyone.
Grief is an emotional state that changes us, we feel such great loss, like part of our heart is missing. We have to understand that grief is different for everyone, we may share in a like loss, but our grief is our own.
How can you help someone in grief
The best thing to do is listen and offer hope. Don't try to change their feelings or tell them how they should feel. Let them know that you are sorry they have to experience this pain. However, share that the time will come when the feeling of despair will lighten and the intense feeling of loss will be replaced with beautiful memories and the knowing they are still here just in a different way.
Don't ask how are you today, they are going through a devastating loss. Instead ask how are they feeling today? Offer assistance, cleaning, food, help with daily needs if possible. Just checking in with them shows you care. The first year is hard but the second year gets harder as most people stop calling because they are not sure how to support you. Remember at times the grieving person may feel their grief bothers or inconveniences people.
Don't be afraid to mention their loved ones name It won't make your friend any sadder, it may prompt some tears and smiles. Talking more about memories and the times you shared does bring happiness knowing their loved one is remembered by others.
Be gentle and be kind! Be a great listener! If you know someone struggling please reach out and let them know you are here for them. Sometimes that is all they need.
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